Dealing with Post-Partying Blues

It's time to get out the house. Trust me, you'll feel much, much better. Head down to your local supermarket for a cool can of Coca Cola. (Lucozade is good too.) Get your brolly and your reusable bag. Put your headphones in. Listen to some dreamy music as you wander around the aisles. Touch shit. Like bananas and kiwis. With your fingertips. Spend a little too long touching things and realise you look creepy. (Thankfully not as creepy as you looked on your zombie walk of shame that morning.) Stare at the soda aisle and think about how cola in a can is the best kind of cola. Be nice to the cashier. Smile. Pay in cash. Put your things in your reusable bag and let yourself know that maybe you've stopped a cruel and senseless death. Maybe you have stopped a turtle from choking on a plastic bag. Realise that perhaps you do have a purpose in this clusterfuck of an existence: saving turtles on a comedown.